Top 10 Biggest Marvel Movie Nopes
Movies have to take a lot of creative liberty when adapting hundreds of issues into a two-hour, or now two-and-a-half-hour movie. They shrink Civil War into a spat outside an airport. They streamline the time-travelling concept in Days of Future Past. They stuff the “Dark Phoenix Saga” and the mutant cure storyline “Gifted” into the trilogy ending The Last Stand, so don’t think that more is more here either. For decisions ranging from good to eh to what to bad, this article focuses on the biggest nopes on film from awful to worst, decisions that should never have been considered let alone put to screen. Note: I am excluding shows considering that would add the entire second season of Agent Carter.
10. The Romance Between The Hulk And Black Widow
Romance as a whole in comic-book movies has been a pretty nope-worthy issue. They make heroes look like idiots and women look worse. There are a number of movies where romance could have been improved or simply dropped, but the one that truly deserves a “nope” is the one between Bruce Banner and Natasha Romanoff in Avengers: Age of Ultron. Not only was it out of nowhere and horribly undeveloped in the plot, but it was rightly criticized in the movie as well. When you have to argue for something’s existence against both critics AND comic book fans (a common theme in these nopes), it probably shouldn’t have existed. Plus, the absolutely last thing anyone clamored for Black Widow is for her to be a love interest. It’s a great argument to end romance altogether.
9. Aging Effects
Granted, this is something that has improved since The Last Stand, but after Civil War I think its uses have past interesting into creepy. Not to mention, it brings about the disturbing idea of aging actors staying in jobs well past their prime, leading to a shortage of new young talent and causing some kind of peculiar Hollywood gap only for the cycle to start all over again. Or, like I said, it could just be creepy. This is science fiction after all.
8. Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider
I think this is mostly because for the rest of eternity we have to say that Nicholas Cage played a superhero. Not just once but twice. Mark Ruffalo’s Hulk doesn’t even get one movie. It doesn’t matter that the hero will likely be reformed under Marvel since this will be a mark on Ghost Rider for a loooonnnnnngggg time. However, since I stand by that Ghost Rider could still be remade, this might be one of the only ones with a happy ending. Eventually. Maybe.
7. The Ending of Thor: The Dark World
There’s an extensive list of reasons as to why Thor: The Dark World would fall under this category from the dull plot to the dreary background. At this point, I’m going to limit it to the ending. Oh yeah, it’s shocking, but did it really mean anything? It sure doesn’t have the elves mean anything. Or Thor and Jane’s relationship. Or even Earth for that matter. The only thing we get for all that watching is Loki in charge of Asgard and us not seeing the fallout for at least four years. If we get any, that is. This ending just proved that there might not be much left in this franchise outside introducing the Hulk. It’s like the exclamation nope on a nope.
6. Another Spider-Man Movie
Our third Spider-Man incarnation in fifteen years with the last one premiering in 2014 will come out before Black Panther, the first black Marvel movie lead since Blade:Trinity, and Captain Marvel, the first Marvel movie female lead in…ever. This is an unfriendly reminder that those films had earlier release dates, and now they don’t. Nope.
5. Darwin's Death
Based on the fact that it’s barely discussed, I consider it a nope on principle. Never mind that they killed one of the only black people in the X-Men movie universe (which gives it a spot on this list by itself), they killed what really should have been the only character who shouldn’t die. You can argue that Darwin was killed because he’d be impossible to fight off, though that didn’t stop people from bringing in Apocalypse or the Scarlet Witch. You can even argue that someone had to die to give an impact, though really that argument is worse. Since a majority of this team never returns anyway, killing one of the only black mutants in this movie universe whose only crime was protecting his friends is a poor choice that should really leave a mark.
4. Marvel Movies of the 20th Century
I’m going to save you a paragraph and just put every live-action Marvel film that came out before the year 1998 on this list. I’ve saved you hours of your life without cringe-worthy special effects and even worse acting.
3. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer In General
But Lindsay, didn’t you remark that Fant4stic was likely worse than the other Fantastic Four movies because they lacked in color and anything related to fun? Those things are true. Fant4stic is the worst, but without the screw-ups of Rise of the Silver Surfer, we would never have had to suffer through the lifeless reboot. The outrageous sequel which featured storm-cloud Galactus, barely existing drama among the team, and Chris Evans as a non-Captain America superhero pushed back any reintroduction into the MCU where they would ever be given a decent story. That probably makes this movie more of a “noooooo” than a nope, but the fact that this cycle will continue is definitely worth a nope.
2. "Deadpool" In X-Men Origins: Wolverine
This is probably the most obvious on the list because it pretty much takes the concept of the character and screams “screw you.” X-Men Origins: Wolverine got what is still considered perfect casting with Ryan Reynolds as the Merc with a Mouth only to replace him three-quarters in with a killing machine mutant with no mouth and the gall to call it Deadpool. Anyone want to see Gambit as a New Yorker? Or see X-23 be played by a mid-thirties man? The Deadpool thing was awful, and it actually haunts me that people willingly made this decision.
1. The Mandarin Reveal
I can tell that this was from one of those instances where execs thought it was a choice between “oh man they’ll never see this coming” and “let’s try something new” without ever stopping by “this might suck.” One could argue that it might be hard to adapt the Mandarin in the MCU, but I argue that they seemed to have been doing a pretty good job before the reveal. The racially-insensitive casting of Ben Kingsley aside, conceiving the Mandarin as a seemingly unstoppable enemy head could have worked wonders to tie back into the group that tried to kill him in the first movie. Instead, we get this, which is wrong on so many levels.
Those are ten clear “nope” moments in Marvel movie history. Feel free to mix them up to your heart’s desire. Add some more if you want. There are sure to be more in the upcoming future. Just be thankful that I spared your eyes from the dance scene in Spider-Man 3. That’s way too obvious.
