REVIEW: X-Men Apocalypse
I always wonder in movies when they have apocalyptic destruction how things can go back to normal so quickly even in just the sequel. This movie featured the destruction of Cairo to construct a giant pyramid, the complete reworking of the planet’s magnetic fields, and the devastation of the Xavier Institute. The movie then ends with news discussing the destruction, and two mutants literally rebuilding the school in a matter of minutes. If you’re okay with those things, Apocalypse may be just fine. If you don’t, join the club.
The premise is complicated enough for an X-Men story. Thousands of years ago, there was a mutant known as En Sabah Nur AKA Apocalypse who was betrayed and buried in ancient Egypt. He reawakens in 1983, ten years after Mystique’s attempted murder of Trask followed by Magneto’s attempted murder of the president, where he decides to wipe out humanity and take over the world using four new mutants as his Horseman. Meanwhile, Raven, Charles, and Hank work in the Academy recruiting new mutants Jean Grey, Scott Summers, and Kurt Wagner to help control their mutations. Meanwhile, Peter Maximoff discovers Erik Lehnsherr may be his father. Meanwhile, Moira MacTaggert, Charles’ former love, is re-introduced. With all those excessive storylines without a guarantee of them succeeding, you know it’s a threequel.
The number of characters isn’t really a reason to hate the movie considering X-Men is one of the few sections of comic book mythology that revolve around a signature team rather than just a recognizable hero (even though this movie does feature the usual Wolverine appearance). The multitude of characters each having their own significant arc is what made the original X-Men film popular enough to help kickstart the modern superhero films we know today. As far as those plots go, the ones given to these characters are mostly consistent and decent.
However, not all plots are created equal, and just because an idea is good doesn’t mean a movie can do it right.
The biggest sin of this whole movie, however, is probably its length. At 144 minutes, it is the longest X-Men related film and feels just like it. I’ll get to more of the issues of the story, but they really all stem from how long the movie is and feels. None of the problems with the characters or their motivations would be problems if they didn’t stick out in the first place. A movie’s first objection should be to entertain, and more than a half-hour on setting things up isn’t entertaining.
I suppose setting things up for a half-hour or more wouldn’t be an issues either if the things set up were new or exciting. Introducing Erik’s new family only to have them killed is neither. Nor is Mystique’s vague loner behavior in the midst of helping Nightcrawler and quickly joining back on the team. It’s a shame mostly because it leaves less room for development in characters like Storm, Psylocke, Havok, Angel, parts of Nightcrawler, Jubilee (who had less to do than Wolverine), and…well many of their motivations could have been expanded. It’s a waste of introducing (or re-introducing) notable characters to have things like Psylocke just walking away in the end. They don’t even know how to end a story properly.
To be fair, there are some upsides to multiple characters despite their lack of adequate development. The fights become bigger. The stakes become higher. It’s great to watch X-Men mostly because of the wide range of superpowers that all work based on not only their strengths but their ingenuity. How else could they get Nightcrawler’s powers to be interesting if that weren’t the point? Partner that with Apocalypse’s vague range of abilities, and we get some of the most exciting moments in this universe, including an updated Quicksilver sequence around the school.
I can’t really compare how Apocalypse measures with the rest of the X-Men universe since those are less of a bell curve of good and bad and more of a not-bad to meh. For what it’s worth, Apocalypse makes a fine villain thanks to the work of the always-underused Oscar Isaac. I’ve heard the whole Ivan Ooze comment about his looks for about six months now, so I’ll just remind you that at least they didn’t sew his lips shut. Plus, when Fox released the never-popular Fant4stic just last year, you find it hard to think that this movie is the worst in anything. I’ll wait a few months before thinking about it.
Though Jean Grey is right that the third ones are the worst, except for probably Civil War, this movie does give some places to start or end for this…whatever you call this trilogy. The X-Men reform, there’s a hint at Mr. Sinister (if you remember to Google), and the Dark Phoenix Saga is hinted at again despite a so-so performance. Then again, since they have defeated what was referred to as a mutant god, I wonder what they could possibly move to after that. I suppose that has always been the source of Fox’s problems regarding the X-Men, that and trying to squeeze in Wolverine.
All in all, Apocalypse represents the best and worst of the X-Men films. It’s large and ambitious, featuring world-ending destruction and some old-fashioned underdog teamwork. However, it proves no one learns anything in piling so many characters and arcs into the third movie regardless of whether or not the film can handle it. With Civil War as a nearby comparison and the status as the final in a "trilogy", I can’t honestly give Apocalypse a good review. The real question would be how it measures up to the faults of The Last Stand, but, if that’s the question I’m asking, the answer no longer matters.
