REVIEW: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. "4,722 Hours"
One of the grandest mysteries of the season, where Simmons was those six months, is completely solved in this episode. Sure we’ve gotten the broad angles with the alien portal and Simmons’s trauma, but here are the details hour by gruesome hour. It’s rare to have SHIELD give such obvious plot answers in episodes that aren’t season finales, but it’s even rarer to have a decent focus on our much-sidelined but always there Jemma Simmons.
If you’re interested in getting into those mysteries behind things like the fate of the random Inhumans, what the ACTU is really after, or the increasingly popular is Andrew really Lash thing, you’ll have to wait another week. With not even a real “previously on” recap of the last few episodes, this episode focuses purely on the escapades of Jemma Simmons on the alien world from the previous six months as referenced by the number of hours in this title. But enough of that disclaimer, onto the adventures of Jemma Simmons, alien survivor.
It’s clear from this point the concept. Simmons is trapped on an alien planet with no clear way of returning home thanks to the monolith portal. It’s kind of an odd irony that she learns in seconds what took us two episodes, but such is the first tragedy of this episode. After calmly assessing the new situation, Simmons tries to wait out her rescue because, after all, she has a date. However, after 71 hours of no sunlight, even she has to crack. What really pushes this no sunlight angle is the fact that the time is tracked by hours instead of days, because that’s what an inhospitable planet really needs, to be creepier. Kudos to the setup since it really makes me forget I’m watching Agents of SHIELD.
With only an image of Fitz to keep her company, Simmons sets out to find food and water all the while contemplating her date to keep sane. After a long trek, she finally finds a small pond. Catch is, there’s a tentacle monster in it. As expected in a survival story, Simmons takes on nature and wins with a resounding “you’re dinner biatch!” If the fact that her rescue wasn’t still thousands of hours away, the moment would have been just as great as Fitz’s “science biatch.” But it is Simmons, so this moment is still a win.
Things take an odd turn after a month on the planet when Simmons stumbles into a trap. That’s right, a human-fixed trap fixed by an English-speaking human. Honestly, the weirdest part of this development is the fact that he speaks English beyond the odds of finding someone else. After being trapped in woodshaft cage and escaping a sandstorm, they both have a chat and exchange backstories which later includes Simmons showing a cute birthday video recording of Coulson, Fitz, and the still-banged Daisy (Skye? Sure).
The man is Will, an astronaut from 2001 who was actually sent to the alien world with a team by NASA who previously had the monolith before SHIELD. It’s a good thing this situation started before The Martian came out otherwise everyone would be feeling a little stupid right now. Will and the team were sent to analyze the area, but eventually the rest of the team went crazy, either killing themselves or getting killed thanks to the evil planet.
I actually don’t know what Simmons is talking about, an evil planet is like the pivotal of comic-book stories and certainly not the weirdest thing on this show (the alien portal is, in case you were wondering). Against all odds, she plans to try and find a way home by, of course, going to the most dangerous part of the area. In that spot, however, she finds the remains of the death cult sacrifices as well as some tools. Through their limited supplies, she deduces that the portal reacts to a particular star pattern, giving them a way to track when it opens. Honestly, the star pattern is a better explanation than the off-chance the cult found the exact frequency needed to open the portal.
Using her 2015 phone to power 2001 technology, Simmons and Will find the location across a large canyon in order to try and send a message. With only one shot, the episode plays the worst “missed-it-by-that much” shtick by having the bottle miss just as the portal closes. After almost dying from the elements, facing a dangerous environment, and losing nearly all forms of human interaction, this would be the part where I’d lose hope too. Fortunately, however, they’re both pretty attractive, so the scene ends with them kissing. I know she’s lost hope, but dang, that’s a pretty low blow after Fitz and Simmons have spent a year trying to have a plot together and we know for a fact that Fitz didn’t give up.
Two hours before her return, Simmons and Will trek out to see the one sunrise on the planet. It’s at this moment that Simmons spots the flare and races out to find Fitz (there’s still hope!). Of course, the planet doesn’t like that, so a sandstorm and some freaky images come to make things worse. Will urges Simmons to run, distracting the being in the sandstorm, and Simmons hears Fitz calling out for her. From there, we’re back to present day as Simmons asks Fitz to help her get back to save him. Fitz, being one of the best guys in this show, quickly helps her while Will, being on one of the worst shows, walks off into the shadows with his empty gun. Regardless of what I said in the previous paragraph, let it be known that I DID NOT want him dead or alone. I don’t want this plot to be for nothing.
This was most certainly the most unique episodes of the whole series, and not just because they decided to nix the fancy new title card. Other focus episodes like “Ragtag” or “Melinda” don’t even come close to the amount of time we spend with Simmons in this plot. I can’t help but feel disappointed at Simmons finding an attractive male on the planet, but it’s the least insane reason to go back I’ll give it that. Fortunately, with it also being the most depressing episode out of this season, there’s nowhere to go but up, so long as we stay away from plots involving Ward or Lincoln.
